omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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