Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
