and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
