i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
