Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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