hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
