all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
