A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just puked most of my soul out..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
