it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
