He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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