if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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