I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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