so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
