You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
