she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
