for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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