GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
