did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
bring money and cleavage
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
