he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
