This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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