The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish i was in the wii world.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
