My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
