Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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