Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so that wasnt chicken after all
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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