i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
