It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
