that's an acceptable place to lick
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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