Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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