Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
