just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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