i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
