I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
