I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
