Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
