You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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