If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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