Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
