I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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