She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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