i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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