Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
