new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
