i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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