Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have aggressive nipples.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
