I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
