so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
