Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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