I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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