Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
