Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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