It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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