I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
