Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
